All Is Lost (2013)

  I liked it better when it was Life of Pi and not life of some guy! 

  Just kidding Sundance, I couldn't help it given the obvious similarities. The main one being they are both great movies.
Another feature that rings for both bells is the debate that sparks after watching them. But with All Is Lost it is only the ending really that is debatable. Sometimes the symbolism vs. reality thing really pisses me off but I lovingly embraced it here.

  I also really enjoyed All Is Lost's minimalism. There are hardly any words or music; and only one actor, Robert Redford, in pretty much one setting. So the fact that I and a lot of others enjoyed it speaks volumes as to how good it is. Also I took it as a necessary big middle finger to the blockbusters that just blow shit up every two seconds. Don't get me wrong I love blockbusters. But you're demeaning our intelligence by giving us just that and thinking it trumps quality, /rant.

  Are you are really into sailing? Then prepare yourself for a really big boat boner! There was a lot of stuff in the movie about sailing, and owning a boat and safety precautions that I found interesting. Mainly because everything I know about the nautical arts I learned from the rap songs "I'm on a boat" and "Boats and hoes". It was cool for a land lover like me to get a glimpse of the sea dog life.

  So if you are a Robert Redford fan, a nautical enthusiast or just a lover of good movies I recommend this. Should See. What did you think of the ending? What's your verdict? Trailer IMDB

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Bad Grandpa (2013)

Grandpa is fine, it's this movie that is bad!

  I think I am getting old because I don't think I enjoy Jackass stuff anymore. Which is crazy because some of the best times of my life were when I was younger and my friends and I made homage-esque videos.

  Most of our cinematic adventures went like this. I would do or say something dumb as an intro. Then one of my friends would proceed to hit me in the head or crotchal region, take your pick, with a foreign object. Then my other friend who was holding the giant oversized VHS camera would say "Oh shit I didn't get it, do it again." And this would go on for hours and hours until I was too hurt to continue or it was time to start drinking, whichever came first.

  So it's not like I never liked this stuff, I almost died emulating it!

  With that said, there is just something about putting people in staged situations to induce extreme responses that irks me.

   I guess I am now only a fan of the extremes. Either be a documentary and move me with the beauty of real life. Or take me on a completely fabricated journey and dazzle me with the power of great storytelling. This movie is interesting/ambitious/dumb in the fact that it tries to bring a little of both to the table.

  But I'm not just gonna shit all over this one.

  There were a few parts where I was almost in tears from laughing so hard. Oh the sheer comic genius that is a swinging nutsack. Spoiler alert, but not really.

  So this movie is what it is. But I guess I'm not what I was. I guess I'm finally growing up. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go work on my stamp collection and then take a nap. I haven't had one of these in a while so I'm gonna say, Don't See. But I'm old, what do I know. It was nominated for an Oscar (not a joke). What did you young whippersnappers think of Bad Grandpa? Trailer IMDB

 

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Enough Said (2013)

A sweet sendoff to a giant of the acting world. No I'm not making a fat joke (even though there are plenty in the movie). To be serious for a moment, I am saddened by his passing. But I find joy in the fact that he went out on a positive note.

  The actor is James Gandolfini and the note is Enough Said.

  I really wanted to see this when it first came out. But I thought that since he had died so recently it would distract me and detract from my overall viewing experience. So I waited.

  And now that the wait is finally over I am happy to report that it is a great little movie! And the way I can tell is it isn't relatable to me in any way and I still loved it. I don't have kids (that I know of), I have never had a massage (fear boner phobia) and I get plenty of dates (but they're all from Whole Foods).

  While I am not well versed in these or other matters of the film personally my friends and family are. And I feel like the film approached them honestly and genuinely which made the film overall really believable.

  The rising action or twist of this one is rather predictable. But the rest is delightful enough (did I just say delightful?, fuck) that it is easily forgivable.

  Julia Louis-Dreyfus is great in this film! And even though I couldn't help but to keep waiting for him to hit somebody over the head with a bat, or gut someone like a fish, Mr. Gandolfini is good too.

  So the three best words to describe this one are honest, modest and pleasant. I know it sounds boring when I put it like that but I think it is a solid Should See. Rest in peace Mr. Gandolfini and thank you for your contribution to this world.

Did you guys see this yet? Get at me if ya did. God that even felt awkward typing that let alone if my white ass said it. Trailer IMDB

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Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

 "Get high and see Saving Mr. Banks!" What your dad didn't say that's what he wanted to do last weekend? Well mine did. And being the good little children we are, my sister and I obliged Tommy Chong's request.

  And I'm glad we took Dr. Greenthumb too because it was a great movie!

  I'm sure you already know what Saving Mr. Banks is about. But in case you got stoned like my dad and forgot I'll refresh your memory. The film chronicles Walt Disney's twenty year quest to woo the author of Mary Poppins into signing over the film rights so he could make good on a promise he made to his daughters. It focused mainly on the two week trial run where the author P.L. Travers flew from England to Los Angeles to hear the proposed storyline by Disney's team.

  The highlight of the film is the acting; with most of the praise from the critics going to Mr. Hanks' portrayal of Walt Disney. I personally think everyone was great. But I feel like the most celebrated role should be Emma Thompson as P.L. Travers. She was so good that even when her character was being a bitch you enjoyed it. A skill I'm still trying to master.

  Obviously we all know the outcome. Spoiler alert, the film did get made. But the backstory is so rich it definitely deserved to be told. I think the take always of the film are polar opposites but both very valuable. Never give up, hard work will pay off in the end. And sometimes letting go makes space for something beautiful. The tough part is knowing when to pull which trigger. "Whoa, far out man." Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Should See. What did you think of this one? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Trailer IMDB

 

 

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

What up my nerdy brethren? Or should I say suilad mellyn? That's Elvish for "hello friends" but I'm sure you already knew that.

  Now I don't break out the Elvish often. So that can only mean one of two things. Either I'm hitting on some hot ass busty cosplay girl at a covention. Or I'm reviewing the latest Tolkien movie alone in my bedroom. Wah wah waaaaaaaah. FYI that was a sad tuba, not a whiny baby. But I digress.

  The Desolation of Smaug the second installment of The Hobbit is what I am referring to of course.

  I'm not gonna lie I didn't really dig the first one. And this one while better still isn't that great in my opinion. I don't know what it is exactly but I just don't care about the characters in this film as much as I did in LOTR. Not sure if that's a rip on Mr. Jackson or me for being heartless.
 
  And there was a tangible realness that shrouded the LOTR saga. Whereas with The Hobbit it just feels like the same ol' dime a dozen superficial CGI blockbuster most of the time. Don't get me wrong I loves me some special effects as much as the next guy. But I love special effects with the natural beauty of New Zealand, character driven story telling and epic battle scenes even more.

  Was it all bad? No, of course not. I just think LOTR is that much better that it stopped me from liking The Hobbit films as much as I probably should. I did however enjoy Luke Evans which gave me the slightest glimmer of hope for the crow reboot. And even though they were dumb Peter Jackson and Stephen Colbert's cameos were much deserved and cool to see. And Smaug was pretty awesome but then again what dragon isn't?

  So I say if you want a Must See go find that cosplay chick I mentioned. This one is only a Should See in my book.

  But who cares what I think. What were your thoughts? Do you share my blasphemous notions? Tell me quick because I have to go into hiding soon. I can literally feel the hordes of broadsword wielding Hobbit lovers breathing down the back of my neck. I fear my demise is imminent. Trailer IMDB

 

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)

Happy new year all you hangover havers. Hopefully by now the puking has subsided. If you are like most people you probably didn't just make a bunch of mixed drinks last night. I'm guessing you also made a resolution or two. And if any of them have anything to do with travel or breaking out of your shell I found the perfect movie for you. I'm speaking of none other than  Ben Stiller's version of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I was super excited to see this movie when I first saw the trailer. I thought to myself "Wow this episode of Scrubs looks a lot more inspirational and a lot less annoying." Then numerous critics bashed it and they not only deflated my excitement balloon they damn near popped it. But I'm glad they did. Because honestly there is nothing better than going into a movie with low expectations and leaving blown away. I loved this film; the humor, the cinematography, the breathtaking scenery. This movie isn't perfect but it will inspire the shit out of you. Especially if you are a introverted dreamer like I am. So a big thank you goes out to my big eared movie directing brother Ben, first for Cable Guy and now this. To the general public or the heartless jaded critics this is a Should See. But for those of us who have a permanent residence in our own heads this film is a Should See. Which category do you fall under? Trailer IMDB

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