About Time (2013)

  Time travel plus Rachel McAdams' smile, where do I sign!?

  Luckily for me I didn't have to sign anywhere I just had to press play. Which was a relief seeing as since I have an ugly signature and even uglier credit; I probably would've gotten denied. What am I talking about? I don't know, I hardly ever do. But what I do know is this movie is way better than I expected.

  Don't let the trailer fool you. This isn't some stupid formulaic chick flick like the millions of others you were dragged to after P.F. Chang's on a Friday night with your lady friend. It does have aspects of that but trust me this dramedy with a sci fi tinge brings a lot more to the table.

  As with any thing in life it's not without flaws. It's a time travel movie so there are bound to be a few points of contention. In fact there were a couple of times when I was tempted to call bullshit on the plot but Miss McAdams and her pearly whites lulled me back into submission.

  But come on it's a movie for Christ's sake. Lets step away from the debate podium for just one night and enjoy the ride. I know I did. How bout you my friend? Should See. Trailer IMDB

 
 

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Nebraska (2013)

  Wait a second... this isn't the Michael Jackson video where him and Janet are in space is it?

  It has been a while since I have seen anything in good ol' black and white.

  I heard that they went against the studio to release it sans color, and I'm very happy they did. The film is good. But I think what is launching it into such esteemed status as of late is that very choice. The lack of color washes the setting to the point where you know it's there but gives you the freedom to dive into the characters even deeper because it's not stealing your eye.

  Another great choice was the actors who were cast.

  A lot of big names read for this film. But the ones selected were excellent in my opinion, especially Dern and Forte. First off they are interesting choices, in a good way. They aren't just bland/pretty faces. Second, they don't come with a lot of filmography baggage so its not hard for the viewer to believe that they are these characters.

  This was a welcome vacation from the recently experienced hyperactivity of Lego Movie. So sit down, get comfy and enjoy Nebraska's subtlety in all it's grandiosity. God knows you don't want Mrs. Grant to show you later what you've missed out on! Should See. Trailer IMDB

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Lego Movie (2014)

"Everything is awesome" this movie included!

  Lego Movie has the emotion of an adult with the humor of a child. Which pretty sums my entire life up with one sentence. No wonder I liked it so much. So come for the Legos and stay for the life lessons kiddies.

  This film is quite the potluck. It has a million different pop culture references. And a million different famous voices to boot. At times with all the stuff going on it felt a little too ADHD for me, further proving my theory I am getting old. But that sad fact aside it was still a sight to behold. Even though 80% was done on the computer it's still impressive, everything really is Lego!

  The whole time I was watching this I kept thinking of the pitch meeting. The guy must've said something along the lines of, okay picture The Matrix, but for kids, and made entirely out of Lego. An asininely ambitious hurdle to reach but one the film surprisingly clears.

  At first the ADHD factor made me want to classify this as a Should See. But the underlying themes, that I find incredibly important in living as a human being, culminated in an extremely touching and powerful ending that conjured up memories of The Iron Giant and other great films and nudged it into the land of Must See. Not a bad start to my 2014 movie viewing odyssey. What are your thoughts? Trailer IMDB

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Oldboy (2013)

  I wonder if I could pay Spike Lee to come to my house to shit on all the other things I love?

  In case you were unable to decode that cryptic intro, I hated this remake with a passion. A passion so fierce it could only be rivaled by Romeo & Juliet on extacy!

  When I first heard that this was going to be remade I dropped to my knees in public and screamed violently towards the heavens. Then after weeks of hospitalization and remake therapy from the subsequent breakdown I was released with an improved but still extremely skeptical outlook. The casting of Olsen and Brolin gave me a glimmer of hope in an overall bleak forecast. Finally after plenty of anticipation and dread the film was released but I was too pessimistic to see it in theaters. So after months of dodging the inevitable I sat down to behold this (I'll be nice and say) re-imagining.

  There was not one scene I liked.

  Brolin says it sucked because you have to see the full three hour version. You say tomato I say, stupid fucking movie; but to each his own. I'm sure there are movie-goers who got to see Olsen naked and had there bloodthirsty appetite temporarily quenched to the point where they actually enjoyed this film. Forgive them Roger Ebert for they know not what they do.

  But in an effort to stay positive and not shit on Spike Lee's film the way he shit on mine I'll just say watch the original. If I was to borrow from the film Billy Madison I would say, we are all dumber for having watched this. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul! Don't See! So much for staying positive. Did you see this train wreck?

 

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Rush (2013)

  I am going to do my best to not RACE through this one, because you can't RUSH perfection.

  Mother of god! Did that just come from me? If you see me walking down the street please kick me square in the dick. In my defense I have been up for 36 hours so I can't imagine I could do any better.

  What was I writing... oh yeah Rush. Great band, I remember whe Geddy Lee... shit! Sorry no sleep remember? Rush, the movie about racing.

  First off, I don't give a rat's ass about racing, like at all. And the same could be said for the 70's since I was born in the following decade. Eat shit bellbottoms! lol. But despite my prejudices Ron Howard won me over with a solid little flick.

  I loved the whole dichotomy aspect of the film. It was presented as two drivers and their polarized racing styles. But it also spoke to how a person can approach life as a whole, meticulously or balls out. Haha. Balls. But seriously the yin yang thing going on here works. And what's cooler was it actually happened. It was based on two real drivers and their feud.

  I never thought I would say this but here goes, go see this racing movie. Should See. Now if you'll excuse me I hear my car bed calling my name. "Yeah but it's a fucking sweet car!" Goodnight. Trailer IMDB
 

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Gravity (2013)

  Gravity does have enough pull.

  Okay that's it I promise. No more puns or space references. I think I've used enough lately.

  This film visually is pretty breathtaking. I am kicking myself for not seeing it in theaters. Is it the second coming that everyone acts like it is? To me, no. But then again I'm jaded and bitter.

  I did however enjoy all lot of aspects about it. The story was good. A bunch of nerds were pissed about the details but as a whole it was plausible. The CGI was awesome but I feel like that goes without saying nowadays. Also if you dig symbolism this is your jam. Some was blatant some suggested but overall heavy throughout. I thought one scene was far too telegraphed symbolically speaking but the others especially the ending I really enjoyed.

  So everyone else would say Must See. But since I am a cranky butthole who watched it on a tablet I am going with Should See. What are your thoughts? Did you think it was out of this world? Fuck! Ok I guess I lied about no more space references. I'm only human goddammit! Trailer IMDB

 

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In A World... (2013)

  

Girl power movie, thumbs up! Comedians being serious, in the words of a great man "I wish I had more hands so I could give those titties four thumbs down!"

  Seriously though I knew something was up the second I saw Nick Offerman without a mustache. If that isn't a red flag I don't know what is. While watching this I kept thinking of Funny People. Where everything tells you "oh this is gonna be hilarious." Even the title practically spells it out for you. You sit down with your adult diapers on fully ready to piss yourself from laughter, but you are bumrushed with a shit ton of drama. Not cool bro.

  But I have to hand it to Lake Bell for working so hard to get this film made. And I love the plot. Voiceover work is something that really intrigues me. And when it comes to trailers it is pretty male dominated. So this is a very creative way of blowing the whistle on the industry.

  I'm tempted to say Don't See because I was expecting a more comedic tone. But the original plot and female empowerment this movie provides brings me back to the Should See side. What side do you fall under? Trailer IMDB

 

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Blue Jasmine (2013)

  Dear Allan Stewart Konigsberg, GO FUCK YOURSELF!

 That's what a tiny part of me wants to say. But my sensible half reminds me that it is just a movie and commends you Mr. Allen on a well made film. Plus I think the media is giving you enough shit so I'll take it easy. You're welcome.

  Blue Jasmine is a story about a woman who undesirably has to hit the reset button on her opulent life. According to a lot of people it's just an updated version of A Streetcar Named Desire if that helps.

  The movie stars a lot of people but you only need to know one name really and that is Cate Blanchett. While everyone's performance is earthly her's is sublimely "Stella!" See what I did there? But seriously I think everyone could've just stayed home on this one because Ms. Blanchett and her descent constantly steal the show. Close runner up goes to Alec Baldwin who plays a douchebag. A role he was born to play. Sorry Alec couldn't resist. And it was great to see the diceman and Louie represent for the comedians.

  So why did I start this review the way I did? Well I am not a woman nor a millionaire but my plight definitely resembles Jasmine's. And the ending is truly one of my worst fears. This movie was a real mirror to me. And sometimes one of the scariest things to do is to truly look at yourself. Thanks a lot Woody you dick! lol. I do however applaud the fact that someone known for their neuroses made such an honest film with such a brave ending. Should See. But enough psychobabble, what did you think? Bueno? No bueno? Trailer IMDB

 

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Her (2013)

Yes! Trailer IMDB










 

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The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

  I fucking loved this movie!

  How's that for an attention grabbing opener that let's the reader know how you feel. Suck it 9th grade English teacher that hated all my essays!

  To be painfully honest it's really hard for me to watch this series , or anything with Jennifer Lawrence really because she reminds me of a girl I used to know, biblically. Maybe that's why I didn't like American Hustle so much. Furthermore, on top of the physical reminders, when I and said girl were living together the last books I remember seeing on her nightstand were Hunger Games. But personal history be damned, I had to get through this one because of my tradition of viewing movies to honor the recently deceased. So I sucked it up, put on my big boy pants and pressed play to pay my respects to the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman.

  I am so glad I did too because this movie is awesome!

  Having not read the books, I saw the first one and immediately wrote it off as twilight-esque teenage bullshit. But it's truly amazing what Francis Lawrence (no relation) did with this chapter as opposed to Gary Ross' first. And thanks to Lawrence I am now (can't believe I'm saying this) really excited to see the last two.

  As for Mr. Hoffman, his role is a little subdued, in his defense that is what the role called for. But as with everything he does there is an intensity and seriousness that let's you know he is not fucking around and that he is very passionate about acting. But sadly that is now turns to was and another famous flame no longer burns. But while it did it was warm and beautiful and a treasure to behold. Thank you for choosing art and not some bullshit desk job Mr. Hoffman. May you find the peace in death that eluded you in life. With all my heart, from one tortured soul to another, goodnight. Love, Roy

  On a lighter note for those of us who are forced to press on through this mortal coil. Go see this film! It is light years better than the first in my opinion. The intensity you expected is actually present. Must See. Did you catch on fire yet? Did you like it? Let me know what you thought. Trailer IMDB

 

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American Hustle (2013)

  I saw this film in theaters a couple weeks ago and I'm still unsure what the fuck I was supposed to feel! "Oooh you said a bad word, I'm telling." Go ahead you little Narc. lol what the hell is wrong with me? Moving on....

  My sister and father insisted on seeing this movie. And fearing further falling into the bottomless pit known as misanthropy I very reluctantly said yes. Not a big crime drama guy.

  To my surprise I left more confused than anything. The film had me scared, sad, angry, uninterested, gripped, and at numerous times doubled over in laughter. Laughter I'm not entirely sure was intentional. To extrapolate I'm not entirely sure of any intention. It is great when a movie makes you feel different things but it's best in my opinion when there is an obvious underlying tone.

  American Hustle to it's credit has a stellar cast giving solid performances; along with a great story partially based on actual events. Which made me laugh with how I was informed of this fact. At the beginning the screen reads "some of this actually happened." Which I think is the perfect way of putting it. This based on a true story business is getting a little out of hand nowadays.

  Ultimately I thought it was good but I definitely didn't drink the kool-aid everyone else did. I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had a point and wasn't just a weird period piece/character study. Or if I just did some blow in the bathroom of Studio 54. But here in 2014 I didn't really get it. Should See. What are your thoughts? Trailer IMDB

 

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A.C.O.D. (2013)

Be honest, have you ever once done a puzzle and not jammed the pieces together and told yourself they fit? If you answered no congratulations, you're a liar.

  As I oh so wittily metaphorically foreshadowed, that is how I feel about this movie. One with an ultimate result that is distinguishable but not vivid. In unpretentious normal speak, I thought it could've been better.

  A.C.O.D. stands for adult children of divorce. And seeing as I fall under that category I was very excited to see this film. Nothing like a good ol' trip down memory lane. More like two hour exposure therapy. But don't worry I'm just kidding. The heavy subject matter is approached rather lightly, making for a enjoyable comedic romp through what is for a lot of people extremely emotionally charged terrain.

  The unrealized potential is killer here though. And not killer in the good way brah. The plot and cast are so fertile that I'm saddened more didn't blossom from it. This is the first time I've seen something Richard Jenkins was attached to that wasn't amazing. Even old faithful Amy Poehler was hit and miss here. And Jessica Alba starred in a role that I can only describe as token attractive girl. Side note, is Clark Duke currently undergoing a sex change?

  But as with most of my reviews I like to end with some glimmer of hope. And even though you lied about the puzzle, I forgive you by the way, I'm not lying when I say I liked this movie. It has some funny parts, interesting subject matter and good character development. But then again so did It's Complicated. Hope you have some aloe vera for that burn. Still it is a Should See in my book. What about yours? Trailer IMDB

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